I have had the most distressing day for quite some time. I have been personally violated in broad daylight on my front porch. Now I always thought that I lived in a nice quiet SAFE neighbourhood. I have lived here all my 35 years and often don't lock my doors or bolt the windows or even lock my car. I thought I was safe but apparently I was dead wrong. Let me fill you in.
I arrived home from work at 5pm. Came in to the house, fed the dog, petted the kitty and then left again with the dog to go right around the corner to my parent's house (a 1 minute walk) to pick up my tax return. I decided to stay for a short bit to talk to my dad about work, life, what not (I know life is not what not blah blah blah). I was leaving and home again before 6pm. That is when it happened. I got up onto my porch and went to pick up my blue box to take it to the curb as tomorrow is garbage day. It was missing. NO not my blue box but my shovel that I had placed in my blue box to keep it from blowing away in the strong winds. It was there when I left to go to my parents because I made a mental note to myself "self, I said, put your shovel in the garage when you get home". I reached out but no shovel handle was there to grab. I mean someone came up to my front door and actually took my shovel. Who the hell does that? Really, I want to know. Who dares to take someone's shovel off their front porch in broad daylight and in the middle of APRIL. What am I going to do now if we do get that freak snowstorm? I mean we do live in Canada...it does snow here. I won't be able to go anywhere, I can't shovel my way out - the ass who took my shovel saw to that. I will be house bound and probably die of starvation all because some jerk stole my shovel. It was a good shovel too - ergonomic handle, reinforced scoop and blade and most of all a gift from my daddy. Now its gone, gone for good. I am pissed and if I ever find out who took my shovel they had better run for the hills cause I will call in the army, navy and if necessary, the marines too cause no one has the right to steal my shovel! Do people forget that I am trained in use of force takedowns? I can f*#k you up people. Now I need to go and try and find my house keys so I can start to lock the place up. Its not a safe world anymore so watch your backs - your shovel may be the next target.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Birthdays and the Devil
Most who know me and I mean really know me realize that birthdays are not usually a happy day for me. I rarely celebrate them (I think last year was the first time I had a party since I was 16) and I see them as yet another reminder in this universe that I have not lived up to my own standards and expectations. I haven't achieved the dream job, the dream man, the dream car, dream family or any other dreams. Try as I might, I end up falling short.
Growing up I always thought that by the age of 27 I would have established myself in a career and married my dream man and started my family. Well 27 came and went and kicked me in the ass on the way by. In fact it has been a decade now since I have had a relationship with anyone so I think it is fair to say that I missed that dream. As for my dream job and career, I found it but only this year and I have to patiently wait for my forever job to go full time, until that happens I am forced to work 4 part time jobs (7 days a week) just to support myself (as I don't have the dream man to help with the bills). I have the house and lease the car and I do have a family but that consists of 3 kids with fur and only 2 of them will let me pet or touch them.
I know, 35 is not old but to me it is. It is a realization that for me having a flesh family is not going to happen. If I ever did have children, I would want to be married for a couple of years and well I would want to have a relationship with the man for a couple of years before the wedding so that would put me at getting pregnant over 40 and that is if I met my dream man today. No thanks. I don't want to be retired from my job before my children move out to go to university. Now again those who really know me are saying "but you don't want kids". Not necessarily true. I don't want kids on my own but when you meet the right person, you may change your mind and suddenly want to procreate. I accept that and up until this birthday that looms with impending doom I had that option. I could deviate from my time line but lets face it, I am not getting any younger and I just could not face the fact of starting my family when I am over 40.
Birthdays are also a good marker of how many true friends you have. You can judge it by how many emails you get, cards, phone calls, gifts or how many of your friends want to go out and celebrate with you. This year, that is not happening. There is no big party planned like last year, not one of my friends has called to suggest getting together (and don't take this as a guilt trip) and to top it all off my grandmother has taken to becoming gravely ill. So this year, it does not appear that it will be a "happy birthday" after all.
Ah poor me's and pity but not really. I have come to this conclusion on my own without prejudice. It is logical and empirical, I have charts and tables to prove it with complicated equations. As we grow older our friends drift apart, have their own lives and families and are not readily available for all night birthday bashes. And let's face it, we're not getting any younger and staying up past 10pm is a huge feat. To go out drinking and whooping it up I think would just about kill me and take another week to recover.
So all I ask is this, take a moment to take stock in your own life and look at your dreams and hopes and see how close you are to achieving them and then join me in my wallowing and realization that indeed Birthdays are the devil.
Growing up I always thought that by the age of 27 I would have established myself in a career and married my dream man and started my family. Well 27 came and went and kicked me in the ass on the way by. In fact it has been a decade now since I have had a relationship with anyone so I think it is fair to say that I missed that dream. As for my dream job and career, I found it but only this year and I have to patiently wait for my forever job to go full time, until that happens I am forced to work 4 part time jobs (7 days a week) just to support myself (as I don't have the dream man to help with the bills). I have the house and lease the car and I do have a family but that consists of 3 kids with fur and only 2 of them will let me pet or touch them.
I know, 35 is not old but to me it is. It is a realization that for me having a flesh family is not going to happen. If I ever did have children, I would want to be married for a couple of years and well I would want to have a relationship with the man for a couple of years before the wedding so that would put me at getting pregnant over 40 and that is if I met my dream man today. No thanks. I don't want to be retired from my job before my children move out to go to university. Now again those who really know me are saying "but you don't want kids". Not necessarily true. I don't want kids on my own but when you meet the right person, you may change your mind and suddenly want to procreate. I accept that and up until this birthday that looms with impending doom I had that option. I could deviate from my time line but lets face it, I am not getting any younger and I just could not face the fact of starting my family when I am over 40.
Birthdays are also a good marker of how many true friends you have. You can judge it by how many emails you get, cards, phone calls, gifts or how many of your friends want to go out and celebrate with you. This year, that is not happening. There is no big party planned like last year, not one of my friends has called to suggest getting together (and don't take this as a guilt trip) and to top it all off my grandmother has taken to becoming gravely ill. So this year, it does not appear that it will be a "happy birthday" after all.
Ah poor me's and pity but not really. I have come to this conclusion on my own without prejudice. It is logical and empirical, I have charts and tables to prove it with complicated equations. As we grow older our friends drift apart, have their own lives and families and are not readily available for all night birthday bashes. And let's face it, we're not getting any younger and staying up past 10pm is a huge feat. To go out drinking and whooping it up I think would just about kill me and take another week to recover.
So all I ask is this, take a moment to take stock in your own life and look at your dreams and hopes and see how close you are to achieving them and then join me in my wallowing and realization that indeed Birthdays are the devil.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Road kill and other such wonders
So I wrote a little note on my trip down to Nashville TN last year and thought it would be perfect for this little blog type thingy so I have copied and pasted it here for your enjoyment. I will also post at the end, the previously unposted return trip home...Enjoy!
Okay, so leaving at 6 am instead of 5 was actually quite nice. I watched the sun rise in the rear view mirror just as I was hitting the border in Sarnia. I was expecting long delays as the trucks were backed up for more than 3 kms at that point. Imagine my embarrassment coming over the hill and low and behold, 4 empty customs lanes and no cars. So crossing the border was no big deal and we were back on our way through Detroit.
Having done this trip umpteen times only going to the Detroit airport and not driving right through the state, I was prepared and familiar with seeing lots of road kill on the side of the road. There were skunks, raccoons, bunnies, possums, foxes, cats, dogs and deer (both big and small). Fact of life yet also sad. However, this time there seemed to be an extraordinary amount of carcases on the side of the road. Being the OCD person that I am I subconsciously started to keep count of all the deceased animals.
Now I am not sure how many people have actually made the drive through Michigan and Ohio, but it is a rather boring drive, stressful at times with the craziness of the drivers never signaling or looking, just merging - that is until you get used to it. Michigan and Ohio are rather smelly states. I started to ask myself "self...why would anyone want to live in this place with this pungent aroma?"
Now, I do not mean to offend anyone who lived, lives or plans on living in these states but really....can you not smell that stench? I can't even imagine that your nose would become desensitized to that. It burned with every breath. Even closing the sunroof and the windows and putting on the air conditioning didn't remove it. My eyes teared up and my nose ran....I found myself speeding quite recklessly just to try and out run the offensive smell. I had hit 43 by the end of Ohio in my counting game.
Kentucky...ah, the bluegrass state. Rolling green hills, lots of pastures with cows, sheep, goats (ah, little pygmy goats playing leap frog), llamas, donkies, horses...lots of horses and miniture donkeys and ponies....so cute. The air was clean, the sky blue, the sun shining and the temperature rising. I found myself quite relaxed by this time and slowed my speed a bit. Trucks with horses were now passing my granny speed but I was enjoying the scenery. 58.
The all girls champion rodeo team passed us. I could see their quarter horses in the trailer through the windows. Their manes blowing in the wind and their noses sticking out breathing in the fast moving air. That is all but one pony. He had his full head sticking out of the window, tongue hanging out and I swear a smile on his face. I half expected him to start barking at the passing cars. (Remind you of anyone Sarah....perhaps Duke?) This brought a smile to my face and it was now 2:45 pm London time. I think I should stop for gas and a potty break.
Back on the road my kill tally was still racking up and I was now into the 70's. It had started to rain a bit and realized that the wipers sucked. I had to slow a bit from my 75 mph as visibility was poor. I came over the ridge of the mountain that I was driving on and the blue skies opened up again and then sun beamed down. There was a house built on the side of the mountain with ponies and cows in their field. I grabbed my camera and tried to take a picture. Pretty sure it didn't turn out as it is hard to take pictures when you are driving on the interstate. I came to a relatively flat part and tried to take a few more pictures and then I saw it....welcome to Tennessee. Feels like home to me. 76.
Another couple of hours and familiar sights came into view. The building in downtown Nashville that looks like Batman's peaked hood. I take a mental note to get a picture of it but not now. Rush hour traffic with crazy fucking drivers but there is one difference, I am in the South now and people here are overly friendly as they cut you off. A friendly wave and smile with a sorry. At first I forgot I was in the polite state and thought the hand gestures were somewhat more obscene and rude. I refrained from gesturing back at them and rather just nodded back at them. Driving in Nashville is stressful. People merge and drive fast and the roads are weaving all over the place....ah home. A few more turns, passed some country star's house and a Nascar driver's home and there was the laneway. Done...here...exhausted. It was 6 pm London time (5 pm Nashville time). Unloaded the car and fell onto the couch and breathed I think for the first time in a few hours. It was a balmy 34 degrees F, a light breeze and blue skies. I never realized how grey the London sky is until I get here and look up. Beautiful.
Kill count 92.
Now the return trip home was just as exciting. Again we left at 5:30 am Nashville time (6:30 am London time) and the sun was blazing. It was already 40 degrees Celsius and the air was thick only promising to get hotter as the day went on - kind of glad that I was leaving for the cooler Canadian weather but sad at the same time to be leaving a place that feels like home. Now morning commute traffic in Nashville starts at 6:30 am and lasts until 9 am and if you are not through the city before 6:30, you are stuck on the interstate for a good 3 hours instead of 38 mins. We made it through and had enough time to stop for a quick bite to eat at a local diner. Nothing like good greasy food to make you run to the loo. Once I felt all was under control I jumped in behind the wheel and headed to the gas station and filled up the car. 22. Once back on the interstate we were making great time. Managed to grab a couple of pictures as we were leaving the city and think they might have turned out. 48 dead at the Kentucky border. Drove past an interesting sign too - didn't manage to get a shot but saw it on an episode of Dirty Jobs a few weeks later. "Used cows for sale" 61. Now I asked myself, "self, what constitutes a used cow?" Does it have to be old, wrinkly, half eaten or chopped into steaks? I really want to know. And for that matter, how much do you expect to pay for a "used cow". Are there different levels of usedness? Sightly used, low Kms, excellent emissions, 100% all natural, there is some serious research to do before you go off and buy yourself a "used cow". Is it me or does the kill count seem to be outrageously high for traveling North? I am not through Kentucky and I am over 100 already.
Decided to stop for "linner" in Ohio. Still smells bad but hunger won out. Ate at Applebee's. Dad loves that place, not sure why. We were going to go to the Olive Garden but pulled up to see it torched and gutted. I don't like my pasta crispy thanks. Back on the road and flying high...a little too high. Police sirens and lights...not good. I quickly slam on the brakes and try to move over as I was sure he was pulling me over. Nope, some dolt in a boat cut me off and the police were after him. 136, nope make that 137 - the dolt hit a possum. I finally got my heart to stop racing and continued on with the trip. Coming into Michigan I saw a Bulldog on the side of the road - not pretty and it brought my morbid game to 165. Really - what makes driving North so much more fatal to animals? I lost count (at 176) when we hit rush three hours in Detroit. We were at a complete stand still for 55 mins and the gas light came on. Not a very good feeling and the next exit was 6 miles away and we weren't going anywhere fast. We sat there for another 70 mins and I was able to finally make my way over to the shoulder and broke the law by driving on it to the exit. I had no choice, it was that or run out of gas completely. Got into a little ghetto and managed to finally find a gas station. Filled up and drove through the city for a bit looking for a way back on to the interstate. Found it and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the bridge and the Canadian flag. Got to the border and up to customs. They seemed to be pulling everyone over and searching cars. I was nervous even though I hadn't need be, I had nothing to declare as I had no money. Got up to the booth and the woman asked if we had a good trip and if there was anything to declare, I said no and yes we had a great trip. She smiled (yes customs officers really can smile) and welcomed us back home. Driving back from Sarnia was easy enough. Noticed there were hardly any dead things in Canada or we have better road crews that pick up the bodies quicker. Made it home safe and sound and in one piece. Maybe next year I will end up getting a picture of the Used Cows sign. That would be fun.
Okay, so leaving at 6 am instead of 5 was actually quite nice. I watched the sun rise in the rear view mirror just as I was hitting the border in Sarnia. I was expecting long delays as the trucks were backed up for more than 3 kms at that point. Imagine my embarrassment coming over the hill and low and behold, 4 empty customs lanes and no cars. So crossing the border was no big deal and we were back on our way through Detroit.
Having done this trip umpteen times only going to the Detroit airport and not driving right through the state, I was prepared and familiar with seeing lots of road kill on the side of the road. There were skunks, raccoons, bunnies, possums, foxes, cats, dogs and deer (both big and small). Fact of life yet also sad. However, this time there seemed to be an extraordinary amount of carcases on the side of the road. Being the OCD person that I am I subconsciously started to keep count of all the deceased animals.
Now I am not sure how many people have actually made the drive through Michigan and Ohio, but it is a rather boring drive, stressful at times with the craziness of the drivers never signaling or looking, just merging - that is until you get used to it. Michigan and Ohio are rather smelly states. I started to ask myself "self...why would anyone want to live in this place with this pungent aroma?"
Now, I do not mean to offend anyone who lived, lives or plans on living in these states but really....can you not smell that stench? I can't even imagine that your nose would become desensitized to that. It burned with every breath. Even closing the sunroof and the windows and putting on the air conditioning didn't remove it. My eyes teared up and my nose ran....I found myself speeding quite recklessly just to try and out run the offensive smell. I had hit 43 by the end of Ohio in my counting game.
Kentucky...ah, the bluegrass state. Rolling green hills, lots of pastures with cows, sheep, goats (ah, little pygmy goats playing leap frog), llamas, donkies, horses...lots of horses and miniture donkeys and ponies....so cute. The air was clean, the sky blue, the sun shining and the temperature rising. I found myself quite relaxed by this time and slowed my speed a bit. Trucks with horses were now passing my granny speed but I was enjoying the scenery. 58.
The all girls champion rodeo team passed us. I could see their quarter horses in the trailer through the windows. Their manes blowing in the wind and their noses sticking out breathing in the fast moving air. That is all but one pony. He had his full head sticking out of the window, tongue hanging out and I swear a smile on his face. I half expected him to start barking at the passing cars. (Remind you of anyone Sarah....perhaps Duke?) This brought a smile to my face and it was now 2:45 pm London time. I think I should stop for gas and a potty break.
Back on the road my kill tally was still racking up and I was now into the 70's. It had started to rain a bit and realized that the wipers sucked. I had to slow a bit from my 75 mph as visibility was poor. I came over the ridge of the mountain that I was driving on and the blue skies opened up again and then sun beamed down. There was a house built on the side of the mountain with ponies and cows in their field. I grabbed my camera and tried to take a picture. Pretty sure it didn't turn out as it is hard to take pictures when you are driving on the interstate. I came to a relatively flat part and tried to take a few more pictures and then I saw it....welcome to Tennessee. Feels like home to me. 76.
Another couple of hours and familiar sights came into view. The building in downtown Nashville that looks like Batman's peaked hood. I take a mental note to get a picture of it but not now. Rush hour traffic with crazy fucking drivers but there is one difference, I am in the South now and people here are overly friendly as they cut you off. A friendly wave and smile with a sorry. At first I forgot I was in the polite state and thought the hand gestures were somewhat more obscene and rude. I refrained from gesturing back at them and rather just nodded back at them. Driving in Nashville is stressful. People merge and drive fast and the roads are weaving all over the place....ah home. A few more turns, passed some country star's house and a Nascar driver's home and there was the laneway. Done...here...exhausted. It was 6 pm London time (5 pm Nashville time). Unloaded the car and fell onto the couch and breathed I think for the first time in a few hours. It was a balmy 34 degrees F, a light breeze and blue skies. I never realized how grey the London sky is until I get here and look up. Beautiful.
Kill count 92.
Now the return trip home was just as exciting. Again we left at 5:30 am Nashville time (6:30 am London time) and the sun was blazing. It was already 40 degrees Celsius and the air was thick only promising to get hotter as the day went on - kind of glad that I was leaving for the cooler Canadian weather but sad at the same time to be leaving a place that feels like home. Now morning commute traffic in Nashville starts at 6:30 am and lasts until 9 am and if you are not through the city before 6:30, you are stuck on the interstate for a good 3 hours instead of 38 mins. We made it through and had enough time to stop for a quick bite to eat at a local diner. Nothing like good greasy food to make you run to the loo. Once I felt all was under control I jumped in behind the wheel and headed to the gas station and filled up the car. 22. Once back on the interstate we were making great time. Managed to grab a couple of pictures as we were leaving the city and think they might have turned out. 48 dead at the Kentucky border. Drove past an interesting sign too - didn't manage to get a shot but saw it on an episode of Dirty Jobs a few weeks later. "Used cows for sale" 61. Now I asked myself, "self, what constitutes a used cow?" Does it have to be old, wrinkly, half eaten or chopped into steaks? I really want to know. And for that matter, how much do you expect to pay for a "used cow". Are there different levels of usedness? Sightly used, low Kms, excellent emissions, 100% all natural, there is some serious research to do before you go off and buy yourself a "used cow". Is it me or does the kill count seem to be outrageously high for traveling North? I am not through Kentucky and I am over 100 already.
Decided to stop for "linner" in Ohio. Still smells bad but hunger won out. Ate at Applebee's. Dad loves that place, not sure why. We were going to go to the Olive Garden but pulled up to see it torched and gutted. I don't like my pasta crispy thanks. Back on the road and flying high...a little too high. Police sirens and lights...not good. I quickly slam on the brakes and try to move over as I was sure he was pulling me over. Nope, some dolt in a boat cut me off and the police were after him. 136, nope make that 137 - the dolt hit a possum. I finally got my heart to stop racing and continued on with the trip. Coming into Michigan I saw a Bulldog on the side of the road - not pretty and it brought my morbid game to 165. Really - what makes driving North so much more fatal to animals? I lost count (at 176) when we hit rush three hours in Detroit. We were at a complete stand still for 55 mins and the gas light came on. Not a very good feeling and the next exit was 6 miles away and we weren't going anywhere fast. We sat there for another 70 mins and I was able to finally make my way over to the shoulder and broke the law by driving on it to the exit. I had no choice, it was that or run out of gas completely. Got into a little ghetto and managed to finally find a gas station. Filled up and drove through the city for a bit looking for a way back on to the interstate. Found it and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the bridge and the Canadian flag. Got to the border and up to customs. They seemed to be pulling everyone over and searching cars. I was nervous even though I hadn't need be, I had nothing to declare as I had no money. Got up to the booth and the woman asked if we had a good trip and if there was anything to declare, I said no and yes we had a great trip. She smiled (yes customs officers really can smile) and welcomed us back home. Driving back from Sarnia was easy enough. Noticed there were hardly any dead things in Canada or we have better road crews that pick up the bodies quicker. Made it home safe and sound and in one piece. Maybe next year I will end up getting a picture of the Used Cows sign. That would be fun.
Monday, March 3, 2008
The first of many
This is my first official blog on this site. I have written "notes" and such on Facebook and MySpace but wanted a venue where all my friends could read up on what has been going on in my life without them having to sign up or become a member.
I have been told over time that I have lead a rather eclectic life. Many different jobs, events, nicknames and stories have all contributed to that and through this site - you will get to hear a select bunch - of course they will be edited to protect the names of the innocent and the not so innocent.
So stay tuned my friends - the best is yet to come.
I have been told over time that I have lead a rather eclectic life. Many different jobs, events, nicknames and stories have all contributed to that and through this site - you will get to hear a select bunch - of course they will be edited to protect the names of the innocent and the not so innocent.
So stay tuned my friends - the best is yet to come.
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