Road kill and other such wonders

So I wrote a little note on my trip down to Nashville TN last year and thought it would be perfect for this little blog type thingy so I have copied and pasted it here for your enjoyment. I will also post at the end, the previously unposted return trip home...Enjoy!

Okay, so leaving at 6 am instead of 5 was actually quite nice. I watched the sun rise in the rear view mirror just as I was hitting the border in Sarnia. I was expecting long delays as the trucks were backed up for more than 3 kms at that point. Imagine my embarrassment coming over the hill and low and behold, 4 empty customs lanes and no cars. So crossing the border was no big deal and we were back on our way through Detroit.

Having done this trip umpteen times only going to the Detroit airport and not driving right through the state, I was prepared and familiar with seeing lots of road kill on the side of the road. There were skunks, raccoons, bunnies, possums, foxes, cats, dogs and deer (both big and small). Fact of life yet also sad. However, this time there seemed to be an extraordinary amount of carcases on the side of the road. Being the OCD person that I am I subconsciously started to keep count of all the deceased animals.

Now I am not sure how many people have actually made the drive through Michigan and Ohio, but it is a rather boring drive, stressful at times with the craziness of the drivers never signaling or looking, just merging - that is until you get used to it. Michigan and Ohio are rather smelly states. I started to ask myself "self...why would anyone want to live in this place with this pungent aroma?"
Now, I do not mean to offend anyone who lived, lives or plans on living in these states but really....can you not smell that stench? I can't even imagine that your nose would become desensitized to that. It burned with every breath. Even closing the sunroof and the windows and putting on the air conditioning didn't remove it. My eyes teared up and my nose ran....I found myself speeding quite recklessly just to try and out run the offensive smell. I had hit 43 by the end of Ohio in my counting game.

Kentucky...ah, the bluegrass state. Rolling green hills, lots of pastures with cows, sheep, goats (ah, little pygmy goats playing leap frog), llamas, donkies, horses...lots of horses and miniture donkeys and ponies....so cute. The air was clean, the sky blue, the sun shining and the temperature rising. I found myself quite relaxed by this time and slowed my speed a bit. Trucks with horses were now passing my granny speed but I was enjoying the scenery. 58.
The all girls champion rodeo team passed us. I could see their quarter horses in the trailer through the windows. Their manes blowing in the wind and their noses sticking out breathing in the fast moving air. That is all but one pony. He had his full head sticking out of the window, tongue hanging out and I swear a smile on his face. I half expected him to start barking at the passing cars. (Remind you of anyone Sarah....perhaps Duke?) This brought a smile to my face and it was now 2:45 pm London time. I think I should stop for gas and a potty break.

Back on the road my kill tally was still racking up and I was now into the 70's. It had started to rain a bit and realized that the wipers sucked. I had to slow a bit from my 75 mph as visibility was poor. I came over the ridge of the mountain that I was driving on and the blue skies opened up again and then sun beamed down. There was a house built on the side of the mountain with ponies and cows in their field. I grabbed my camera and tried to take a picture. Pretty sure it didn't turn out as it is hard to take pictures when you are driving on the interstate. I came to a relatively flat part and tried to take a few more pictures and then I saw it....welcome to Tennessee. Feels like home to me. 76.

Another couple of hours and familiar sights came into view. The building in downtown Nashville that looks like Batman's peaked hood. I take a mental note to get a picture of it but not now. Rush hour traffic with crazy fucking drivers but there is one difference, I am in the South now and people here are overly friendly as they cut you off. A friendly wave and smile with a sorry. At first I forgot I was in the polite state and thought the hand gestures were somewhat more obscene and rude. I refrained from gesturing back at them and rather just nodded back at them. Driving in Nashville is stressful. People merge and drive fast and the roads are weaving all over the place....ah home. A few more turns, passed some country star's house and a Nascar driver's home and there was the laneway. Done...here...exhausted. It was 6 pm London time (5 pm Nashville time). Unloaded the car and fell onto the couch and breathed I think for the first time in a few hours. It was a balmy 34 degrees F, a light breeze and blue skies. I never realized how grey the London sky is until I get here and look up. Beautiful.

Kill count 92.

Now the return trip home was just as exciting. Again we left at 5:30 am Nashville time (6:30 am London time) and the sun was blazing. It was already 40 degrees Celsius and the air was thick only promising to get hotter as the day went on - kind of glad that I was leaving for the cooler Canadian weather but sad at the same time to be leaving a place that feels like home. Now morning commute traffic in Nashville starts at 6:30 am and lasts until 9 am and if you are not through the city before 6:30, you are stuck on the interstate for a good 3 hours instead of 38 mins. We made it through and had enough time to stop for a quick bite to eat at a local diner. Nothing like good greasy food to make you run to the loo. Once I felt all was under control I jumped in behind the wheel and headed to the gas station and filled up the car. 22. Once back on the interstate we were making great time. Managed to grab a couple of pictures as we were leaving the city and think they might have turned out. 48 dead at the Kentucky border. Drove past an interesting sign too - didn't manage to get a shot but saw it on an episode of Dirty Jobs a few weeks later. "Used cows for sale" 61. Now I asked myself, "self, what constitutes a used cow?" Does it have to be old, wrinkly, half eaten or chopped into steaks? I really want to know. And for that matter, how much do you expect to pay for a "used cow". Are there different levels of usedness? Sightly used, low Kms, excellent emissions, 100% all natural, there is some serious research to do before you go off and buy yourself a "used cow". Is it me or does the kill count seem to be outrageously high for traveling North? I am not through Kentucky and I am over 100 already.

Decided to stop for "linner" in Ohio. Still smells bad but hunger won out. Ate at Applebee's. Dad loves that place, not sure why. We were going to go to the Olive Garden but pulled up to see it torched and gutted. I don't like my pasta crispy thanks. Back on the road and flying high...a little too high. Police sirens and lights...not good. I quickly slam on the brakes and try to move over as I was sure he was pulling me over. Nope, some dolt in a boat cut me off and the police were after him. 136, nope make that 137 - the dolt hit a possum. I finally got my heart to stop racing and continued on with the trip. Coming into Michigan I saw a Bulldog on the side of the road - not pretty and it brought my morbid game to 165. Really - what makes driving North so much more fatal to animals? I lost count (at 176) when we hit rush three hours in Detroit. We were at a complete stand still for 55 mins and the gas light came on. Not a very good feeling and the next exit was 6 miles away and we weren't going anywhere fast. We sat there for another 70 mins and I was able to finally make my way over to the shoulder and broke the law by driving on it to the exit. I had no choice, it was that or run out of gas completely. Got into a little ghetto and managed to finally find a gas station. Filled up and drove through the city for a bit looking for a way back on to the interstate. Found it and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the bridge and the Canadian flag. Got to the border and up to customs. They seemed to be pulling everyone over and searching cars. I was nervous even though I hadn't need be, I had nothing to declare as I had no money. Got up to the booth and the woman asked if we had a good trip and if there was anything to declare, I said no and yes we had a great trip. She smiled (yes customs officers really can smile) and welcomed us back home. Driving back from Sarnia was easy enough. Noticed there were hardly any dead things in Canada or we have better road crews that pick up the bodies quicker. Made it home safe and sound and in one piece. Maybe next year I will end up getting a picture of the Used Cows sign. That would be fun.